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Mar 21

Spring Breakers: Disney Teeny-Boppers In Gratuitously Raunchy Indie Film

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What the hell is “Spring Breakers,” right?  I mean what the hell, right?  Here’s how it’s described at IMDB:

Four college girls who land in jail after robbing a restaurant in order to fund their spring break vacation find themselves bailed out by a drug and arms dealer who wants them to do some dirty work.

Wow, this is almost the exact same plot of the screenplay I wrote in high school, only my story had a lot more substance.

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Love the subject matter… hate the “Instagram” look that’s everywhere these days.

But if it’s got sizzling hot teeny-bopper idols such as Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens running around in bikinis, doing drugs and robbing people, it can’t lose.

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Oceans of cute Latina girls just like Selena in LA. I wonder how she got picked?

And a conspicuously successful limited screening (the movie averaged a record-setting $87,667 on two screens last weekend) might suggest a possible runaway hit at general release.

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A hip, outrageous, underground phenomenon in the making?  A breath of fresh air in today’s stale, incredibly lame movie market targeted at young people?  Maybe, but it still looks pretty lame to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy looking at these little totties in their little bikinis, sure… but at the end of the day, it still seems like gratuitous, puerile shit to me.  Watch the trailer, I’m sure you’ll draw a similar conclusion.  Hot, yes.  But still lame.

And who the fuck is Harmony Korine, right?  Anyone remember Gummo?

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Yeah, I had just about succeeded in forgetting about that one, too…  Dirty trick putting Selena Gomez in a bikini to remind us all.

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