Mar 06

This Just In! Jodi Arias Likes It Up The Ass!


It looks like the now infamous Jodi Arias murder trial is just getting more and more scandalous with each passing day.  Yes, it seems the defense’s line of questioning Monday was themed squarely around the most vital of topics: anal sex, oral sex and wait for it… candy in the bedroom!  Yeah!


In an attempt to prove that Arias was humiliated and bullied by her murdered boyfriend, Travis Alexander, Kurt Nurmi, defense attorney, asked how many times she had anal sex prior to meeting Alexander.  “Four times.”  She went on to elaborate that it hurt the first time Alexander had anal sex with her.


Asked by Nurmi if Travis had used lubricant, Arias replied, “Not to my knowledge.  I think he might of spit on his hand… it was painful.”


Lubricant?  Come on, that’s for wimps.  Everyone knows that all real men just spit on it.  But in reality, a good female partner will do all the spitting on it.  So in addition to being a murderer, Jodi Arias is a shitty lover.

Nurmi asked Arias if she enjoyed it when Alexander used Tootsie Pops in their anal sexcapades.

“When he was using the tootsie pops on you, was it physically pleasurable to you?” Nurmi asked.

“There was some physical pleasure I guess. It wasn’t uncomfortable,” Arias replied.

Hard candy as a plaything is the best.  I personally steer clear of Tootsie Pops or anything else with a chocolaty center, though.  I think the reasons are obvious.


Arias then testified about receiving facials from Alexander during oral sex.

“Sometimes it hurt if it got in my eyes,” she said.


Oh, poor baby.  It hurt her wittle eyes when her boyfriend used to cum on her face.  This is building sympathy?

While the sex testimony may have been of interest to some, the momentum in the trial slowed significantly throughout Nurmi’s redirect of last week’s cross-examination.

Well played, Nurmi.  Talking about butt-fucking, tootsie pops and facials to distract the jury… well played.

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